57 days

in 57 days I will be the parent of an Adult. He told me he wanted to go get a tattoo with his father, something to do with Metallica.

Riley, My Good Boy

This is Riley, My Good Boy.

He loves me. He is almost always at my feet.

Here he is warming them. He's almost 7.

He sleeps by the husbands feet

or under my side of the bed.

Do not mess with my family when he is around.

Can you believe someone abandoned him?

Whazzup in the Wild Kingdom?

Sea lions biting people? Bees detecting bombs? Humpback whales have "human" brain cells? Whazzup in the Wild Kingdom? Are they about to go all Taliban on us?

something in the way she sees things...

... Makes me love her like no other... Re-Pete, the almost 4 year old, saw me working on my Benchmark test, saw this picture and wanted 3 copies of it to color. Doesn't this look fun to color? All those spaces? She sees things differently than we do. So far, the sheath and pause have been colored red, blue and green, can't wait until it's finished.

Ah, the Sea Breeze(s)

Several, thank you very much, with Swedish vodka, never had that before.

This guy has an interesting post, and I've done a few of these, but #26 reminds me of a story.

Comfy? Good...

I was a tender 17, working 3rd shift at Waffle House. In the heart of Cham-blee. Where the where two different Po-lice departments would come for dinner. One of the areas finest "Harry" had a thing about his hair, you could not mess it up. If you did, and he liked you, and you were female, you got "the look". Male- don't know what happened. If he didn't like you, he beat your ass. Really.
So, one night 4 of them come in for dinner. I'm new, and cops freak me out! I'm 17, doing MANY illegal things, have been for a number of years. Well, one of them is telling the others how he had to get this drunk chick in the back of the car, he's really into it, with expressions, you know? How he man-handled her (he's such a MAN!). Meanwhile, The Man is shaking the Heinz ketchup bottle in his left hand, towards his heart, and then away, towards, away, with fervor! And then.... the cap comes off! He's really into his story, and his body has remembered the energy it had during the scuffle and Splat! that ketchup is going all over his shoulder.

But he doesn't notice.

That is, until I walk up and guffaw and spew laughter all over the effing table! I got a case of the famous Johnson giggles. I couldn't stop! Here he was. Mister High and Fucking Mighty, going on about beating up some drunk chick, and he doesn't notice the red goo on him? (Course, the other 3 aren't telling either) He notices me, I think "Oh shit, Cop-gun, oh shit", and I'm sooo embarrassed, But can I quit laughing? Oh hell to the no! I go into the back, get control of myself, wait a minute or two, go back to check on them, and start laughing all over. Holy sheep shit, I thought I'd never stop. They finally left, but damned if I can remember the tip I got.

A post, but not good prose**

When I was about 14, we lived in this shitty little trailer- not even a double wide. You know the ones, they have the closets and drawers built into the room soon as you open the door. You can get a twin bed in there, maybe a night stand. Anyhoo, My sister had this POS car that my father had painted with freakin' house paint one evening (can you say dew? the next morning the chocolate top of the car had run into the vanilla bottom. All we managed to do was make it look worse after scraping it with razor blades). We lived in poor, trashy part of town. Let's just say we were the minorities. My parents, being the kind of people they were, were not about to let me go to an all black school, so my sister had to drive me to my old bus stop and pick me up. It was only about 10 miles away, so it wasn't time that was a factor. This was about the time that gas went sky high too. So, my father sits me down one evening and tells me it's too hard for me to get to school anymore, what with gas, and time, and my parents have to get to work, and you see dontcha, girl? So, you just take the rest of the year off, work hanging insulation with us, we'll make more money, things will get better, you'll see, what do you say?
Now, school was awesome for me, sure I missed a lot, wasn't popular (by any means!) was the butt of many jokes, ate lunch by myself a lot. But I really liked it when I was there. I was smart, always making A's, my teachers liked me. There's the key- my teachers. They never made me feel stupid, (OK, two did). I felt liked they cared about me. I was good at school. I liked the anonymity (spell check on aisle 3 please) of the halls. I liked that people there knew I dated older men, not some silly high schools boys.
When Daddy asked me to quit, what did I say? I said , OK, and that was that. I turned my back on school. Went to work, hanging insulation. Partyed like I meant it. Did money get better? Hell, no. I ended up moving in a with a lady watching her kid for her while she tended bar. I learned a lot from her, both good and bad.

Here's the thing. I used to be so proud that I was a Shining Example of what people could do with their lives. If I had to list important events in my life, Getting Out was always 1st. Well, hell, I'm pushing 40 (say it ain't so, Joe) and I'm tired of that being The Big Event in my life. It's just not so important any more. I am not that girl, that woman, I was 25, 15, 5 years ago. I'm ready for a new Big Event. Any one want to go to Disney World? Or Key West?

** This lady could have said this much better than me, and much funnier.

odd notes

Re-Pete was watching The Upside Down Show on a cable channel the other day- one guy said "Opera-loving chickens, you can't live with 'em. you can't vote for 'em, and you can't wear 'em for a hat" How bizarre. It's a preschool show, but funny in a goofy way. Might have to watch it again.


I really am not a stay at home mom. Love the kids, gotta get out of the house...

Just read Stephen King's book Lisey's Story. Pretty good. Some of it just hits your heart. There are parts where the main character misses her husband... damn. If you like King, you'll like this story.

favorite holiday things

We moved a lot growing up, seems like we we always packing or unpacking. I remember about the time I was ten realizing that it did me no good to make "real" friends, or get too close to others, because we would leave soon. I had figured out that investing myself in others was a waste, not to mention painful, as little as I got out of the friendship. Some times we had a little time to pack, others would be the midnight move. Got a evicted a few times. There are probably 3 pictures of me growing up that my aunts have. One thing I guess I really miss was my mother's big wooden bowl. Usually it held apples, but at Thanksgiving? Oranges! Almonds! Pecans! Walnuts (yuck) and Brazil nuts (my fav) Even after I was married, with a kid of my own, my parents had oranges and nuts on the kitchen table. My mom must have had a secret supplier of wooden bowls- big, clunky things.

My earliest Christmas memory- musta been 3 or 4. We still lived in Massachussetts. I got an iron and ironing board, and a table for me in the kitchen. I would "cook" with my mother. As we got older, my Dad would play penny poker with us. He'd pull out his change jar and divvy up the money, we'd play a while, no one ever ran out of money. Then the money would go back in the jar.

One year my Dad got our oldest, who was 4 at the time, a tricycle. We have pictures of adults riding that thing around. One of the aunts sketched me and the hubs. That year C. got into the aunt's tupperware cabinet and built a city around himself. I can see it like it's last week.

Favorite Christmas memory- The time Re-Pete got into the syrup. It was all over her- hair, clothes, stinky diaper- that was a nasty thing to wake up to.

bye

Here's a clue for you...

This made me happy, even if it is censorship. Intergrity, compassion, and an effing clue dictates that this not be sold or seen. This man snubs his nose at the families, his children, and the court system. He should not be allowed to keep one dime of any money he makes, past minimum wage, for the rest of his natural life. Yeah, justice might be blind, but scared jurors aren't.

The whole thing?

My students have just completed a project: a book of chemicals. It's a pretty good project, designed to show them that chemicals are everywhere, nothing is "chemical free". But, I swear I teach some re-tards! One girl told me her project was late because
"I had to download the internet"
"The whole thing?"
"Yeah, but it's ok, we have cable"

*blinkblink*

Another student printed out some weird random shit, hole punched it and turned it in- complete with addresses on the bottom, twice, because I gave it back to him the 1st time and told him it was plagarism. Never mind that it almost nothing to do with the project.

Another student told me that salicylic acid (the stuff in acne wash) is found in the urine, the blood, the milk, the bile.

and this gem about sodium aluminum sulfate
"It was found in ground water and toxic to aquatic."

and these little known facts

Sodium chloride was found mostly in saltwater

Monocalicum phosphate is found in raw material for the production.

Minerals are found underground,

peroxide is found in our tissues

and my fav:
Salt- monosodium sulfate (PtSO4P(C6H5)32 is found in only normal saturated dissacharide.

I really need to talk to this girl about getting her tubes tied...

where's my beer....

Tryptophan Day

We had T-Day yesterday, due to the hubbs crazy schedule. To make things weirder- I actually brought work home- projects to grade. Each one takes 4-5 minutes, and I still have 30 to go. Then I have a benchmark to make. Benchark Test is Edubabble for pretest and posttest. Hmmf.
Im typing like I have sausages for fingers, just took a 3 hour tryptophan nap. Glgggmffmptoggle. Fuzzy, very fuzzy...

OTOH, Re-Pete just got a Castle (said like you're from Joisey)and has had a blast! It has a Dragon, a King and Queen, and A Princess, oh my!

oh yeah

9 days! 9 days! 9 days!

a work ethic.

Think back to your 1st paying job, probably some menial task making shit for money. You probably thought that some of the things your boss told you to do were stupid or a waste of your talent. But I bet you didn't say that too loud, 'specially not in front of the boss man, right? You probably just did it, maybe grumbled a little, but chances are it got done. Because the alternative was getting fired right? You probably did not tell your boss they were stupid because no one else had to do it, or Jimmy was taking 30 minute breaks, too, or better yet, just stared stupidly at them. Not and keep your job.

Well, maybe you did. What do I know...

Sure wish we had more of a work ethic amongst our students these days.

well, that's funny

You paid attention during 97% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Quiz

Redecorating

Got a little tired of the old place, decided to spruce up a bit, gotta get to used to everything again...

This one time

A few summers ago I took a class at the Atlanta Zoo over a week. It was awesome. We got to explore different conservation efforts, get different ideas, learn about some of the animals. The highlights were our behind the scenes visits. We got to see the training area for the raptors, plus see the raptor show (ever been buzzed over by a hawk? I lost a little hair), We saw the quarantine area for the new animals, the pandas before the exhibit opened (!!!!). There were two parts that really stand out, though. One was the kitchen. That place is so clean they won't let eat off the floor. We saw the rodent room where the little meeses are raised and then euthanized before being fed to whatever was eating them. We saw them make mousicles. Yes, that's right. The chefs take a 2 liter bottle and fill it with prepared Powerade, then drop a few dead mice in it. Freeze, and instant fun for birds of preys. They freeze chunks of meat for the big cats. I was a little disappointed they would let me in a middle room in the reptile house...


The other place I remember was the primate house. I remember visiting the Atlanta Zoo as a kid. The animals were still in cages. I saw Willy B. in his cage. It reminded me of a luggage commercial. Nowadays, of course, animals are in their "natural habitat". We got to see the orangutans and their training center, which is the old cages. Did you know that orangutans can be taught a money system? Seems this one would take out the screws of the electric fence with a coin he had hidden somewhere. Then he'd go bury them. His "keepers" traded him tokens for the lost screws and then for NOT taking them out. In return he would get to pick out his own meals with the token. These guys can use computers. So much for the big difference between humans and 'tans.

So, we're standing in front of the cage and Allen, the big alpha male, comes in and starts his long call. Words cannot describe it. That pouch at their chin resonates with sound and goes on for a loooongggg time. A woman named Demayo was showing us around. Apparently, Allen has the hots for her.... He ignored a female orangutan to try and get Ms. Demayo's attention. Finally he resorted to masturbating in front of her to

well, well

That's funny. hubby must be rubbing off on me...

The Game

I think we lost the game, as I was leaving there was two minutes left and the other team had just broke the tie (again) with a touchdown. We played good, they played good, they got the ball last. Pete and I went, got there early. We got front row, 50 yard line. Swee-eet. So this lady comes and sits with her two kids beside us, no biggy. That place was Packed, I tell ya. I think the visitor side had more people than the home team. We were on very close terms with our neighbors, if you get my drift. Well, Pete and I were up and down like a tricky Yo-Yo, screaming and all. The lady beside us sits there like a stone with her two stony kids and then has the temerity to tell me my girl is banging into her girl every time she stands up.
Huh?
Aren't you supposed to be up and down, cheering your team? Don't you expect to be jostled at the most anticipated game of the season? Stupid people really piss me off. I think there's a reason I don't want a gun- I might be really tempted to use it!

High school football

Tonight's the night, my school plays their arch rival... They're undefeated, I think. Should be a good game. The Boy tells me last night that extra police will be in attendance. I'm not surprised. That school has a certain element, if you know what I mean. He also tells me that if push comes to shove he will wade into the fray and help his friends out. I don't know whether to laugh at him for his teenage bullshit bravado or smack him for sounding like such a nitwit- fighting over a football game. What a bunch of shit. People will fight over stupid shit, I suppose.

GO WILDCATS!

mmmm

Pete and I (with a little help from Re-Pete) made some pumpkin pie tonight. Yum!

Sibling rivalry

My sister and I were pretty close growing up. We shared a room and would pretend that we were married- she to Donny Osmond and me to Bobby Sherman or Shaun Cassidy (did I just write that?) We did a lot together, double dated, even dating brothers. There were these two guys when I was about 14, Jeff and David. My sister and I were just friends with these guys, but really enjoyed their company, so Friday night she'd "date" Jeff and I'd "date" David and Saturday night we'd switch.
She is two years my senior (I'm the bay-bee), skinny as a rail and looked like Jaqueline Smith. I was sooooo envious of her, but loved her muchly. I thought she was a bit of an airhead. I called her illiterate when I was an 8th grader. She told our Mom that I called her a bad name. I said, "See what I mean?" I Still don't understand why I got in trouble (heehee). If she got a C in Math, my parents were full of glee, but let me make a B in anything, and I better have a damned good reason. She lives on the other side of the continent now, about as far from me as you can get without leaving the counterminious states. She has 3 wonderful boys, 2 military, one still in high school. Don't get to see her much.
My brother and I were a different story. Being the oldest I supposed he felt some sort of responsibility for us, mostly to be as big a pain in the toucus as possible. We fought like crazy- verbally and physically. I'm surprised we both survived without more injury. I suppose y'all know what they say about God loving fools and drunks... Anyhoo, my brother and I would chase each other around the house, knocking each other down, swinging at each other, I don't know how my parents didn't kill us both. I still remember the last fight we ever got into- close to 25 years ago. I had a kitchen knife and he had a bat. I was, by far, the most injured with a fat, bloody lip and him probably unscathed. He had just broken my door down to my bedroom and we stood there in a standoff, heaving chests and batched expressions. I remember very clearly thinking, "Man, this has gone too far." My brother must have thought the same thing because he put the bat down and walked away. We never hit each other again. My parents must have been thrilled!
So what got me thinking all these thinks? My three children (17, 9, and 3) have been at each others throats for the last 2 days, but took a break tonight to wrestle with each other on the living room floor. It's kinda funny to see a three year old trying to pin a kid 4 times her size. Pete got hers in as well. My brother and I would do that sometimes, just wrestle all over the damn living room, my mother would put up her feet and her book and just watch us, first cheering this one, then that.

Funny what you miss, isn't it?

Where's your Kirk?

One of my students told me yesterday that her neck hurt and that she had a "kirk" in it. The class chuckled and I explained the whole sleeping with a muscle in an awkward position resulting in a "krick" and that it would feel better if she stretched it a little. She insisted it was a kirk and wanted to get it out and, furthermore, wanted me to tell her how. Finally I told her the truth- The only way to get rid of a kirk is with a Spock.

Where's your Kirk?

Convictions

Remember when the OJ trail was winding down? I was student teaching in a middle school. One of the secretaries came to each class and quietly told each one of us to keep the TV off and not talk about the case. This had to take awhile, and was a big inconvenience for her as well. It seems that the school officials were afraid that the black students in my school (6-8 grade) would get all upset and riot. I remember thinking how ridiculous that was. Now, I think the jury didn't convict him becasue of the same reasons. They were afraid.
I'm glad that Saddam Hussien was convicted, but it's not over yet. Can you imagine what it must be like over there right now?

Where's Vin Deisel when you need him?!

Looking for a job

Hear about the school that burned down? It started in the chemistry lab. Guess that teacher will be looking for a job soon...Hmmm, burning.... some folks will do anything for a day off.

I recommend...

Anyone heard the latest Evanesence? It's pretty good. At first I didn't really care for it, but the Hubs reminded me that I didn't like the 1st one I heard. So, I kept listening, it's not bad at all. "Call me When You're Sober" is a little old, but several others kick ass. Give it a listen.

Okay, commercial's over, you can go back to your life now.

Bad Form

As I stood in the shower this morning I was thinking of the Halloween Post. See, Everything is becoming "a post" now. But I digress.

On the way home yesterday, we happened to drive by this little strip of building with a used car lot, hair cuttery and Something Else, usually it's some type of restaurant. Now it's

"Johnny's
Chinese Chick-on-a-stick"

Thought I'd pee on myself for that one.

Then, last night, I actually get to meet the proprietors: a fat chick (no sticks in sight) and slightly oriental looking little guy (I thought they were all named Charlie?) and a couple of fat kids. I said "Excuse me" as we tried to go around her, and her mouth opened and out came a commercial.
Huh, next year I guess we'll see those guys with the placards around their necks for the local jewelry store walking around the neighborhood.

Oh, yeah, Bedrock condominiums is almost built. Can't wait for Barney and Betty to move in...