Crapblogging...

well, not really.

The American Cancer Society has started its Relay For Life here. Our county gets into it all the way down to the student level. This year we're doing "Flush Cancer" as one of our fundraisers.
There is an old semi-clean commode that travels from room to room. The teacher draws the amount to raise, and then it stays in his/her room until that amount or more is raised.
It's my turn to have the toilet in my room. And you know my love for scatological humor! So there I sit upon my throne, reading a magazine when my students come in....

If they give me 50cents I'll take their picture with their camera, another 5o cents and they can sign it. For 5 bucks they get to sit on the throne for half the class and "do their business". Can't wait to see how it goes. In three hours I raised 5 bucks.

Some girl signed her name "Her Name save cancer" What a pin-head.

Appreciation

One friend of mine has been divorced for several years now. Her husband is very charismatic and friendly, too friendly. And a liar, been that way since birth most likely. He's very good at it. He shines around people, so that you are easily taken in by him. Once you start to see his seedy side, there's no unseeing it. He is remarried to a psycho. He's about to go to jail for contempt of court, I think it's called- he owes my friend many months of child support. But he can make people believe his lies so easily....

Another friend of mine has a husband mixed up with some pretty nefarious people, and has picked up some pretty nasty habits along the way. They are separated, but he barely helps her out. She brings home a little over 700 bucks a month! He just got out of jail for stealing and will probably have a pretty hefty penalty for it. Got a girlfriend he parades around town in a short skirt. He used to a nice guy, but drugs have taken hold of him. He's only a few years younger than me, but he should still know better. If you're still getting high and making shitty choices in your 30's someone needs to beat your ass. Especially if your choices hurt your family and kids.

What is it with men in this area? Am I the only one with a decent husband?

More importantly, what can I do to show my dear husband how much I appreciate that he's not a total bastard?

punny

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef....

How do pirates pays for their earrings?

A buccaneer...

teehee

Black History Month

Whilst I'm all about giving people the recognition they deserve, I have mixed feelings about BHM. Do we Chinese History Month? Or Irish? Hungarian? Women's? (OK, you got me there)

But it's on TV, and probably a few Hallmark Cards, so it must be a valid, um, holiday observance thingy, right?

But I digress, again.

Pete has just informed me that every Wednesday the kids in her class celebrate BHM by "finding a story about an African American in the paper. Then we read the article and tell why that person is important."

Heh heh...I was tempted to tell her to look for Al Sharpton in the news today....heh heh

beans

I made a pot of beans this weekend: northern, navy, with lentils and ham. They're so good they almost make me believe in God.... but it's probably just gas.

TMI

oy, my brain hurts. I'm rewriting my benchmarks test for the next 9 weeks.
ughh, I need chocolate...

We had beans for dinner last night.
Well, the good news is they don't stink, yet.

You know when you look around you, and your blessings are so abundant? I have a job I love, a husband who's crazy about me, 3 great kids, my health, my mood has improved soooo much, my students are doing fairly well. When life is this good I get scared. I'm afraid to talk about how good my life is for fear I'll jinx it. I see the pain some of my friends are in, mentally and emotionally, how horrible the men in their lives are, it makes me very grateful for my life.

I'm scared. Whenever my life is going good, something bad happens. Illness, strife, depression, death. I'm waiting for something to happen.

Bad dreams- kids with guns, my husband leaving me, all are a symptom of my dis-ease, the underlying worry.
What's that saying about people not being afraid of failure, but of their own success?

You guys ever feel this way? What do you do about it?

a dog on a bike

One of my students, whose intelligence does not match his achievement, told me this joke in class yesterday. The ensuing conversation REALLY took place

Two men are talking. One says, " I don't know what I'm going to do about my dog."

"What do you mean?" said the second man.

"He chases anyone on a bicycle."

"What are you going to do? Chain him up? Give him away?"

"No, I think I'll just take away his bike."

Some giggled, some groaned,

"Wait....dogs don't ride bikes...."
"I don't get it"
"That's not fair- he can't just take peoples bikes"
"Wait...what?"
"But dogs can't...."
"What?"

By now, I've just had to put my head down. I'm telling you, these 4 girls talked about this for 5 minutes! People had to explain. the. joke. slowly.

I feel really bad for laughing until I cried. I'm sure I embarrassed them.

Well, not really, but I will if one of the parents calls and complains...

portending evil?

Had a dream the other night that a guy in a trench coat came into my classroom and started shooting up the place. I've been keeping my door locked until yesterday. I kept looking over my shoulder every time I heard something. Man, I hope this is just bad dream heebie-jeebies....

Ever had a dream come true?

update:
In the middle of the day one of my students comes running in the door (tardy) and announces to the whole class that there had been a fight in the front of the school and someone had fired a gun. After telling her she better not be lying, and making sure my door was still locked, I called the front office on my cell phone. There had been a fight, but no weapons had been used. I found out later that a student had been sitting atop a tall table and had knocked it over, creating the sound she mistook for gunfire.
I then had a talk with her about creating panic and next time not to announce it to the whole class. I think she did it for effect. She probably did hear something and let her imagination run wild.

Stupid girl.

History Is Elementary: The Education Carnival: Edition 107

History Is Elementary: The Education Carnival: Edition 107

I won't take up much time here as it is my wife's blog, but I submitted a post to the carnival and wanted to create a link to it. Some pretty interesting viewpoints.

kids

The Eldest told me tonight one of his friends shook his hand and gave it a good, hard squeeze, So he squoze him back. This is the boy that made a 96 on the Asvab.
'Course, he used tell tell me he "being have", he got really made at me once because I couldn't find his Thing. "You know, Mommy, my Thing!"

Pete said "No I amn't" so many times it seems normal to me. When she was angry as a toddler she'd mutter "stupid dog!" even though we'd never had one.

Re-Pete is just a Princess and expects to be waited on hand and foot, and she gets her way about 30... ok 40... alright 60% of the time.
She taught me how to turn a page on a book tonight. First you lick your finger, then you use it to turn the page, "like thiisgh"

Don't you just love some of the things that come out of our kids mouth?

The Paradox of Inertia

Inertia: The tendency of an object to resist a change in its motion. An object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest, unless acted on by an outside force.

Newton's 1st Law, words to live by.

People, humans, are born wanders. The 1st humans lived near modern day Ethiopia, the cradle of human life. How beautiful it must have been there. Lush flat lands, spotted with trees, maybe a mountain jungle to forage in, an warm ocean to swim and fish in. There were predators, to be sure, but that was life.

What gave them the desire to move from there? Was the land used up and they simply wanted food? Were they driven off by another group of animals? Did they just want to see what was on the other side of that river? Why North on to another continent?

If Newton is right (and I say he is), then what was the outside force that made them move? Or was it an outside force? Maybe an inner force? What made them overcome their inertia? There are times in our history that humans faced extinction. Our numbers were so low, the end seemed near. Yet, still we moved outwards, to very cold, inhospitable environs. Instead of staying near others where there was a chance of furthering our species, we forged on in small groups. Think about the expansion of our country.

We persevered, though, and here we are in all our modern glory. But we still want to explore, whether it's inward or to the stars. Imagine what life would be like (or not like) if those 1st humans hadn't moved on. Would we have antibiotics? A Space Race? An Arms Race? Amish People? Kings and Presidents?

Is Wander lust the polar opposite of Inertia?

Which brings me to my point- procrastination. Before Christmas Break I decided to clean out my closet in the foyer and my bedroom. I finally got around to doing it today.

If i follow Newton's Law, some outside force must have acted on me to get me moving? The smell of those shoes mildewing, maybe? The fact that we can't get in there anymore? I really needed that attachment to the vacuum that was probably on the floor?

I would much rather play a game, read a book, watch a movie, then clean closets. But my desire to have a clean, organized closet overcame my inertia and got my ass off the couch.

There was definitely a bit of courage needed to clean out Hubs side of the closet, to explore the depths of that cave. I went spelunking in the dark recesses and found some interesting artifacts. A picture his aunt drew of us 15 years ago, computer parts that are so old you can see where the wheel the rat ran on attached to it as a power source, a single black shoe that had an impressive colony of mold. Evidence of a mouse (where's that damn cat?), pants he wore 12 years ago (like those will ever be in fashion again).

My side was a bit easier- old gift bags that I re-use, but got torn up, kids clothes that will fit "someday", clothes of mine that will never fit but I can't get rid of because of that "someday" thing, and luggage.

So now that I've overcome my inertia, and the kids are at a friend's house, I think I'll snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie, my work here is done.

PB and woe

we're on our way to the local emergency room, dear hubs is infected with the peanut butter bandit, Salmonella.

playing ball

softball practice starts tonight, Pete is very excited! Talked to the coach, things are going to be better this year. Last year was crap- the coach would cancel practice, didn't really coach, didn't have an end of the year thing, no trophies- bs like that. New coach, better year. I'm Dugout Mom, Woot! (hmm, wonder what that means, exactly?)

Is it just my school or do some of the girls playing ball in high school look a little "dike-ish" to you?

Life's Too short...

for crappy music. In the 80's we had LoverBoy and softcell, Rick springfield and Men at Work, Dire straits, and Asia, for Crissakes! Talk about terrible. Made me switch back to country for awhile.
At least Rush had a point and AC/DC kicked ass.
I feel so sorry for kids today. Think about the shit they have to choose from- My Chemical Romance? system of a down? Korn? all that rap shit? They're gonna have to get it together, folks, or I'm turning Country again. That Brad Paisley sounds good, Kenny Chesney, too. sugarland's alright.

At least we still have RHCP.

sick day

Both my oldest children have pink eye and the youngest feels bad. We are staying home till doctor time....

Things I miss about Texas

1. Dancing- We used to go dancing quite a lot on Friday and Saturday nights. Matter of fact, my sister and I would clear the floor and people would watch us. I miss that. Just something about slow dancing to live music that calls to me. I was pretty good at the two-step, if I remember right. We would go to trail rides sometimes. Usually some place in the woods, live band, vodka and OJ, live music, big fans in the summer blowing on us. Campfires at night. Place called Magnolia Gardens, think I've posted on it before. Big place on Lake Houston. We would swim during the day, then dance the night away. It was something to see a couple hundred couples dancing together. Kat Balou's was another place. Had many a good night there.
2. Lone Star Beer. Cheap, I know, but drinking it made you a Texan.
3. BBQ- real BBQ, brisket that's been slow cooking all day. Damn, summer time, there was always someone having a party- beans, deviled eggs, salad.
4. Fishing with my dad. I don't remember catching many fish, but that time with him, do I ever miss that.
5. Crabbing at Kema Bay. Friends of ours had a place right on the Bay, we would step out the back door and be on the beach. There was a spit there, one side was warm, shallow and sandy. The other side was cold, deep, and rocky. I could clean a crab lickety split.
6. Astroworld. I heard they tore it down. Damn shame.
7. The beach. Galveston was so close! We usually stayed around the lake, but every now and again we'd go there and play in the waves. Got stung by a jelly fish, ouch!

96

What my son made on the asvab. Told you he was smart!

different strokes

One of my dear friends asked me who I was voting for. Took me a minute to figure out WTF she was talking about. Turns out she meant for prez. Told me she couldn't decide if she wanted Hilary or Obama.

GAAACK!

How can she and I be so close yet have such different political views?

ok, I'll play your silly game

Dear hubby tagged me, here are my 6 weird things:

1. If someone folds the towels wrong in my house, I will take them out and refold them.
2. I could make a meal out of olives, I just love 'em!
3. My secret wish is to invent something small that the world uses 800,000 times a day- q-tips, bottle tops, something like that.
4. I'm a closet Willie Nelson fan, although that's not so strange when you remember that I was raised in Houston, Texas.
5. I like having sex with really loud, hard rock and roll playing. (Is that too much information?)
6. Even though my "place" to teach is in public school, I wish all my kids could go to private school, at least until high school. Less distractions, higher expectations. Fewer kids with issues. Does that make me a hypocrite? I'll take the label as long as my kids get a great education.

I'm not tagging anyone else. Let's pick a new game?
How about you have a post where the number of sex partners you've had is in the title?

Prehistory

Somehow, the site of these two gives me hope for the future. A couple of thousand years embracing the one you love? Sounds mighty fine to me.

Sunset on Barsoom

Education

I like surfing other peoples blogrolls, I find some pretty good stuff sometimes. Today, for example. I was pilfering through El Capitan's 'roll, when I ran across this guy, which led me to this guy, Geig. I really like the title of the article.

Go read the whole thing, I'll wait.

There are days when I'm convinced that I'm a hopeless retard who will never understand the complexities of life. People who can make a string of words sound so beautiful, make me see what they see, like Eric and Lisa, or make even the mundane hilarious like Ellison, or make me laugh out loud like Big Dick and my wonderful Hubs, well, they confound me. I love the way they write, and I know I'll never be that good.

But I do have my own arrogance. Secretly,(or maybe not so secretly now) I think I'm smarter than about 70% of the people I know. Isn't that terrible? Not better, just smarter. Well, maybe a teensy bit better than everyone else. Because I have SCIENCE. I understand it, and I can explain it to you. I heard somewhere that doctors have to have some arrogance to do what they do. To believe in themselves and their abilities. I think science teachers need a little arrogance, too.

I hear people tell me they are just not good at science. I call bullshit. You are good at what you want to be good at. Here's one of my goals: to rid the world of science misconceptions.

Take Global warming. I repeat what Geig has said- we don't know. Insufficient data. Not only that, but that article says we only have data for 200 years. I say not even that. How accurate do you think the equipment was 200 years ago? Remember, the GW alarmists tell us that a temperature rise of 2 degrees or so is enough to set of a series of catastrophic events. 2 degrees? Okay, what's the margin of error? Could there be errors in their data? Probably.

But we have geologic data for much more than that. Natural cycles of variation due to Earth's proximity to our Sun can explain our temperature flux.

Are there problems caused by us? Sure. Does combustion add to those problems? I don't know. When we run out of oil, it'll be a moot point anyway.
There are many other things we need to worry about- fresh, drinkable water. Sewage treatment. Educating the world's women. Running out of food. Human right violations. Teen pregnancy. STD's. Cancer. Heart disease. Smoking.
Only 17% of smokers develop lung cancer. But the number one killer of men and women is heart disease. Smokers do not get enough oxygen to their heart. This causes heart disease. Smokers who run cough up big loogies, so they don't run. This causes the heart to get weaker.

Americans are doing just about everything they can do to decrease their "carbon footprint".The EPA has stopped most industries from polluting the land or water. So many regulations have been made in fact, that many industries just move to other countries, like China, with no environmental laws. Remember that River in China that Benzene killed?

Benzene in a river in the US? Not on our worst day.

Carbon dioxide is a green house gas. It makes up .03% of our atmosphere. Read that again. .03%. Water vapor is a much bigger force in trapping heat, but you don't hear anyone complaining about the rain, do you?
And another thing, if you're at a website with an agenda, political or monetary or otherwise, you should think twice about accepting what they say. It's like going to bible.com to learn about evolution. Or burka.com for women's right issues.

Our planet is a complex system. The ENSO affects weather globally, go here for a record. Scientists are finding more and more about the role of the ocean and our world.

There was a point in all this, somewhere.

Please educate yourself about science. Don't take things at face value. Just because some talking head says it's so doesn't make it so.

Choices

For all the insane things that happened in my life, midnight moved every couple of months, drugs and alcohol a commonplace occurrence, quitting school, being homeless, all the crazy shit I can't believe I lived through, I've come to the realization that those things don't define me.

Yeah, they helped mold my personality, gave me perseverance, but since then I've met and married an incredible man, had three incredible children, gotten two college degrees, watched both my parents die. That made one hell of an impact on me, too.

But, I never would have done a bit of that if I hadn't wanted to provide a better life for my son, to give him the chances and experiences I never had.

And he has. He went to an excellent school for 9 years straight. One school in nine years. He went to a total of 4 schools his whole life. He went on trips every year with his school, visiting out of state (and country) locales. He had new clothes every year. He was never homeless or without electricity. He has had regular doctor and dental visits. He will graduate in the top 3rd of his class in 15 short weeks. He was supposed to go to college, get his masters in law and become an excellent lawyer.

He has his faults. Waiting until the last minute to complete a task is one of them. In fact he waited too late to complete his college application to start in the Fall.

Now, he tells me he doesn't want to go to college right now. Instead he wants to go into the Marines.

I feel like I have failed. I know he makes his own choices, that I will support those choices, that he is still a good kid, with his whole ahead of him.

He has always liked challenges. When he was 8 or 9 he was solving algebraic equations in his head. He'd say, "Don't give me the easy ones, Mom, make them hard!" He won't do his homework if it isn't hard enough.

He is taking 5 AP classes, working, and on the wrestling team. He lifts weights with the football players. He is tough. And smart.

He sees the Marines as a challenge. He sees being a Marine as something very few people can do. He wants to be one of them.

I told him there was a real possibility that he would have to point a gun at someone and kill them. Or be killed. He said he could do that. He said he wanted to go to Iraq, that it was the right thing to do. He wants to do heroic things, not so people will call him a hero and worship him, but that few people can do it, and he wants to be one of them.

I feel better now that he's explained his reasons to me.

Now I'm just terrified.

morning

ughh. up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday for a wrestling tournament. Where's my coffee?

parent 101

I have learned a few things as a parent. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Children will put snot on your shoulder anytime you have a meeting.
2. Their underwear will fall out of your pants leg at the least opportune time.
3. Never say anything nice about your children, it only causes them to turn into shit heads.

Remember a few posts ago when I was bragging on my son? I take it back, he's a shit head this week.

TMI

My county hired a woman to keep us abreast of what's happening in the school community: births, marriages, deaths, awards, meetings, etc.. I'm not sure she should have told us this:

P. M., first grade teacher at XYZ school, mother passed away very
unrepentantly. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Poor woman, and now we all see her shame.