back home

The trip home started well enough, 2 large Shiner Bock Drafts, a phone call with The Marine and I was off.
Here's a bit of TMI- when my son travels, he has a hard time pooping in a strange place. So he fills up and gets pretty uncomfortable. He gets it from me. By Saturday afternoon I was having pep talks with my colon: "You can do it- o-pen, o-pen, o-pen." But to no avail. But I got to the airport and I took a very satisfying poo. (I told you this was TMI). This turned out to be a very good thing.
I got to sit in the very back of the plane. Yay me. Then the captain sez we might get delayed because of storms in Atlanta. and we were, but only by an hour. The ride got very bumpy about 25 minutes before landing. One lady exclaims, "God I wish I was drunk". I was really glad she wasn't - she was right in front of me and I didn't want her blowing chunks on me. So I told her so- I'm not sure why she didn't think it was funny. At one point it got so bumpy, I actually lost control and farted. I was really happy I'd been so successful earlier.
We landed, but there was so much lightning that the captain said we might have to sit on the tarmac and not connect to the gate. You can imagine how happy that made me. But they let us off.
After going the wrong way three times, I made it to the shuttle to get to my car and got home. I only called one woman a bitch. I rode home to some great scenery, a few pictures are below.
I'm sure I'll have more to say about Blown Eyeland, how Chou has really set the bar high for blogmeets, and all the great people I got to meet, so I'll be back. The last picture, BTW, is from the plane (in case you couldn't tell)

Useless Information Part 1

I was thinking, what's the good in having a Blog title like my own, without having some kind of weekly thingy about, well, useless pieces of information.
Now, we gather useless information about people all the time. I learned, for instance, some 15 years ago, that my friend Russ has one nipple that's an outey and one that's an inney. I don't know how I found that out, but there it is- stuck in my head, unforgettable. Even when I'm really, really old and ate up with Alzheimer's I'll probably still remember that Russ' inney nipple. And now, you will too.

Your Welcome.

But I thought I would start a regular event- Useless Information. I decided to start with Useless World Records. Folks, I hit the Mother Load on my first Google click.

Sheesh- did you know that the longest tapeworm from a human was 37 feet, from a Sally Mae Wallace of Great Grits, Mississippi?
Damn, that's long. (How long, you say?) Consider this- the human alimentary canal is about 30 feet (bigger person=longer, duh) That's from mouth to anus, guys. The small intestine is about 25 feet. So Sally Mae had 37 feet of it in her, loop-de-looping around.
I wonder how tall she was?
Anyway, My car is about 15 feet long, which means the tape worm could almost wrap completely around it. At which point I would trade that fucker in 'cuz there's no way in Hell I'm driving it again.

Guess how they got it out of her- go ahead. I'll wait.

Yep, her mouth!!!! It came out in one piece. Ewwww.

So there you have it, my first installment of a (hope-t0-be) regular installment- Useless bits of info for you.

Hey, if you've got some useless info you'd care to leave here, go ahead. Want to know something about a particular subject? Let me know in the comments.

And if you would like to see more bits of Gross World records, go here, but don't say I didn't warn you....

A funny thing happened on the way home

I was on the way home from the liquor store today. Had to stock up, as you do.... I saw this truck parked by the side of the building. Word must be getting out

My children are naive

and I like it that way.
Pete can't wrap her head around things sometimes, she can't figure out how people can be so mean to each other. That's typical for 10 year old girls. She wears her heart on her sleeve. She's all about "fair" and "nice". I like it. Re-Pete is learning/repeating "family helps family" and "friends help friends". I like that too. I want my girls to have a spirit of helping others.

But sometimes I get a glimpse into their mindsets. Last night I was watching a show about a Super max prison. One guy was there because he killed his father and ate part of his brains, to which Re-Pete says

"How'd he get them out?"
I guess she can't be a genius all the time.

Blogtoberfest 2008

I'm not sure if it' s too early for this, my calender says it's not even summer yet and the heat hasn't baked my lawn to a crisp yellow yet, killing all but the hardiest in the Georgia Heat, but the date has already been set for the Southeastern Writer's Conference. Once again we band of Merry Men (and Women) will join together on the banks of the Chattahoochee River in Helen, Georgia at the Chalet Kristy. I liked how we grilled and cooked together, since there seem to be so many of us lately. I recommend Richard and Dash as Grill Masters. Richard, not just because he's my husband, but because he makes the best steaks around! And Dash because of the recipes I've seen from his blog. I'm sure there will be other more literary types who will spin their wordy webs about why you should indeed come, but let me say a good time will be had by all- and this time, I'll try to remember the rules to half-rubber and not try to run the bases like a total idiot. I've asked that the Maker of Da Chedda Ale Soup come back too- with soup.

Mark, Proprietor Extraordinaire, has agreed to let us come back. He has put aside 3 cabins and 5 rooms. He, being the sweet man that he is, is giving us some pretty good deals- the cabins are $159 a night and the rooms are $129 a night. He said when you book the room to say that only two people will be in a room/cabin so he doesn't have to charge us extra.


The details:
Blogtober 9th (10th) through the 12th
Helen, Georgia
Chalet Kristy
phone number is (706) 878-2268.
rooms- $129 a night
cabins - $159 a night- with a hot tub!!!

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

That's from an old Bellamy Brothers song, quite catchy.
There's a guy at my gym that has the body of a Greek God, not as nice as Vin Diesel's', but what can you expect 19 miles from Hell? I have enjoyed watching him work out, a bit of eye-candy, makes the workout go a little better. So I'm working out today, Saturday. The doors are locked so you you need your card to get in. He forgot his today and motioned for me to let him in. So he walks in with a tight t-shirt on, all muscles and tats, plus a few piercings I could do without, but hey, I'm just looking anyways so it matters not. This guy has really wide shoulders and well developed and defined muscles, a narrow waist, and Wow... he looks good, 'kay? So I'm walking away, dripping sweat, to finish my workout, when he says, "Hey, Ms {Holder} don't you remember me?

Shit. Hell. Damn.

As soon as he smiled I did. I taught him him sophomore year.
I feel dirty, ewwwww. If I believed in Hell I might actually think I was going there.

Blogtoberfest 2008

A little bird told me that the Blogtoberfest in Helen, Georgia will probably be held the Weekend of October 11, 2008. Anyone interested? I'm calling the Kristy Sunday morning.

Update:

Since my hubby has to plan his vacations so far in advance, the question was put to several Jawja Blodgers (Eric, Zonker, Ellison, and Velociman) is that date was good for them, and they said yes it was. I just wanted to put an early release out there for the peeps who have to plan long range. So the date is set for the 11th. Make your plans to be there. I will call the Kristy on the morrow to make reservations, I thought I'd reserve 3 cabins and 5 rooms. Does that sound like enough?

Anyone got a theme in mind this year?

Today in my mailbox:

eat hot foods and lose weight, and try something called "colonaid" to get a flatter tummy and "A flat belly through food- a breakthrough science based approach"



Crap, here I was eating veggies, working out and drinking water.

What was I thinking?

I should be eating hot soup full of sodium, drinking shit-aid and eating moo-fahs (chocolate, avocados, olives, and nuts and seeds to have a belly Vin Diesel, I mean um, My husband will drool over. Okay, maybe not drool, 'cuz that's gross. But definitely appreciate, yeah appreciate and um, other stuff.



Alright Ladies, lunch at my place next week!