How to F*** up a kid

My mom used to tell people she put me on my 1st diet when I was 5. Always had to have fresh veggies around for Stevie (me), the implication being I have always been a tub o' shit. Matter of fact, my aunt gave me that nickname when I was 2 or 3. (she apologized a few years ago). The story goes- we're at a family dinner and all the kids are given the mike to record something for posterity. Little Stevie says, "I'm not a tub o' shit, you're a tub o' shit" Mom puts an end to that nickname right there.. Any way, by the time I was in 2nd grade I already knew I was fat. Hell, I weighed 68 pounds (!).
So my 8 year old, Pete, comes out of the bathroom, with her little svelte self and tells me she finally hit 75 pounds- yeah! She's a size 8/10 depending on the length of the pants. Not. fat. in. the. least.
So I realize I wasn't fat in the second grade either. Cool.