The whole thing?

My students have just completed a project: a book of chemicals. It's a pretty good project, designed to show them that chemicals are everywhere, nothing is "chemical free". But, I swear I teach some re-tards! One girl told me her project was late because
"I had to download the internet"
"The whole thing?"
"Yeah, but it's ok, we have cable"

*blinkblink*

Another student printed out some weird random shit, hole punched it and turned it in- complete with addresses on the bottom, twice, because I gave it back to him the 1st time and told him it was plagarism. Never mind that it almost nothing to do with the project.

Another student told me that salicylic acid (the stuff in acne wash) is found in the urine, the blood, the milk, the bile.

and this gem about sodium aluminum sulfate
"It was found in ground water and toxic to aquatic."

and these little known facts

Sodium chloride was found mostly in saltwater

Monocalicum phosphate is found in raw material for the production.

Minerals are found underground,

peroxide is found in our tissues

and my fav:
Salt- monosodium sulfate (PtSO4P(C6H5)32 is found in only normal saturated dissacharide.

I really need to talk to this girl about getting her tubes tied...

where's my beer....