Sunday, January 07, 2007

Choices

When I hear about these things I have to wonder about their mind set. There has been one time in my life that I was so mad at my husband I could have done him harm. It was about 15 years ago. No, I'm not telling. But it was in response to something that had happened and not for my personal gain. I don't understand how someone can willingly take advantage of another to that person's detriment. It's wrong, simple as that.
And don't get me started about people hurting kids. I stopped listening/reading stories about parents killing their kids.
Sometimes, though, the line is blurred between right and wrong. Take for example, parents of mentally retarded kids. (Feel free to insert your own PC term here, if needed.) I have a cousin who's a few years younger than me. I haven't seen her in close to 25 years. I don't even know if she's still alive. Here's the point. She's mentally retarded and will never progress past about 13. That's a rough age at the best of times, and if you're lucky you grow out of it. You're just getting interested in your body, old enough to get pregnant, interested in the opposite sex, in a slightly more than rated G kind of way. In short, it would be pretty easy to take advantage of a girl in that mental state, and there won't always be someone there to protect her. I wonder if my cousin's parents ever thought about having her tubes tied. Or how much of a consideration it would be for the parents of children with special needs. Now, I'm not advocating as much as I'm wondering. A 13 year old has no business having sex or kids, whether their age in chronological or mental. Shit, I know it happens, but what if the parents could at least prevent pregnancy? This opens a very big can of worms.... What would I do if one of kids was in that situation? Would I wait to see if she was gonna act all promiscuous? No guarantee there. Too many assholes in the world. What if she thought she was "in love"- and don't tell me someone with a 13 year old mind set know jack shit about being in love!
Heard about that woman in the nursing home? She was severe and profoundly retarded, some guy took advantage of her, she ended up giving birth. Who the fuck is gonna take care of that baby? The girls family? Most likely the state.
I guess before you could make this choice you would have to decide who's interest you were best serving- yours or your child's.
Here is an example of the controversy this type of decision might start. The Ashley treatment, hm mm. I can see the parent's side of this, really. They want to be able to care for their daughter. I can see the ridicule those parents will be forced to endure too.
What's that saying- something about walking a mile in someones shoes?

1 comment:

Lisa W. said...

We just discussed this at length on the listserv I moderate for parents of children with CHARGE syndrome. In one sense, as a vehement advocate for the rights of individuals with disabilities, it leaves me with a disturbed feeling. In another, I am also a parent of a child with multiple special needs and one thing I've learned on this road is that I can't sit on my ivory tower and make judgments about what other people decide they can or cannot handle. I think they love their daughter dearly and they are doing what they feel is best for them. I'm pretty pro-choice when it comes to most issues, and although this is different and slightly disturbing, when push comes to shove, I have to think that the parents are doing what they feel is best and are doing it out of love.