Friday, March 23, 2007


A chemist is a person that washes her hands before she goes to the bathroom.

Saccarin, Aspartame, Teflon. All fortunate accidents.

Ever heard of Etorphine? Elephant juice? 1,000 times more powerful than morphine?Discovered in a lab in Edinburg. The scientists were having tea. One of the lab techs stirred the tea that had been accidentally contaminated by a small amount of what would become the popular drug. It takes a milligram to put a 2 ton rhino to sleep. It takes a tiny fraction of that to kill a person. It's so dangerous it's dyed red to be recognizable. It's so dangerous that a hypodermic of the antidote, diprenorphine, or Revininol, must be prepared first. Sold only to vets with careful records, new reports suggest a more sinister use.
Imagine killing a zombie, or re-killing as the case may be. Only to find that his little Zombie friends can bring him back. Want to jump start your Rap career? Record sales declining? Get popped outside a night club and get P. Diddly Squat to sing a song about you with a choir in the background. Then Bada Bing! Show back up to show what a miracle you are. On the run? Start an affair with a local mortuary owner and "die" a very public, but not messy, death. The doc pronounces you, the mortician prepares you for a "closed coffin" service, then Voila! your Scott free.
You know what else I think? Anna Nicole is not dead, what they found in her blood stream is Revivinol, and she's living in Dubai with Michael Jackson, the gloved freakazoid. (You know he's that Prince's Bitch now!!! Bwahahahaha) Now she's somebody else's freaky bitch to impersonate dead women for the next 10 years, or 5 if the meds wear off...

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