I discovered a new species of bird- in my classroom, of all places. I've named them the Chirpitus Doofii, the Doofus Bird. They seem to like pizza and bubble gum. The Doofi are very social birds, prefering to be in a crowd, Their song is a persistent "Wha-aaat? Wha-aat?" as if they have little understanding of the world around them. They are amorous creatures, preferring to court and sometimes mate in public. Contrary to other birds, their attire is designed to draw attention to themselves, even the females, but often seems too loose or too tight. I feel this is a doomed species, as they don't seem to follow natural laws.