Saturday, June 21, 2008

Useless Information Part 1

I was thinking, what's the good in having a Blog title like my own, without having some kind of weekly thingy about, well, useless pieces of information.
Now, we gather useless information about people all the time. I learned, for instance, some 15 years ago, that my friend Russ has one nipple that's an outey and one that's an inney. I don't know how I found that out, but there it is- stuck in my head, unforgettable. Even when I'm really, really old and ate up with Alzheimer's I'll probably still remember that Russ' inney nipple. And now, you will too.

Your Welcome.

But I thought I would start a regular event- Useless Information. I decided to start with Useless World Records. Folks, I hit the Mother Load on my first Google click.

Sheesh- did you know that the longest tapeworm from a human was 37 feet, from a Sally Mae Wallace of Great Grits, Mississippi?
Damn, that's long. (How long, you say?) Consider this- the human alimentary canal is about 30 feet (bigger person=longer, duh) That's from mouth to anus, guys. The small intestine is about 25 feet. So Sally Mae had 37 feet of it in her, loop-de-looping around.
I wonder how tall she was?
Anyway, My car is about 15 feet long, which means the tape worm could almost wrap completely around it. At which point I would trade that fucker in 'cuz there's no way in Hell I'm driving it again.

Guess how they got it out of her- go ahead. I'll wait.

Yep, her mouth!!!! It came out in one piece. Ewwww.

So there you have it, my first installment of a (hope-t0-be) regular installment- Useless bits of info for you.

Hey, if you've got some useless info you'd care to leave here, go ahead. Want to know something about a particular subject? Let me know in the comments.

And if you would like to see more bits of Gross World records, go here, but don't say I didn't warn you....


Joan of Argghh! said...

Uh... my sister has a spiral belly button. I've never seen another like it. Damn her, she got all the cute in my family!!

kerrcarto said...

You need rideage? CD's plane lands at 3:40 we could hang at the Starbutts and you could hitch a ride. Email me at or just post a comment over at the blownstar site. 102 hours to go!

Mrs. Who said...

There's just some useless info that you can keep to yourself, thankyouverymuch. I can't go to sleep now for fear of nightmares about tapeworms!

Walrilla said...

Hey, holder! Email me your flight info, so's i know which gate to pick you up at(such grammar from the husband of an English teacher, my, my)

{my name} at gmail dot com

replace {my name} with walrilla


Richard said...

so much for that bagel with cream cheese I was fixin' to eat. yuck.

Elisson said...

It's easy to get rid of a tapeworm: a three-day process.

First day: Shove a banana up your ass. Wait five minutes. Shove a cookie up your ass.

Second day: Shove a banana up your ass. Wait five minutes. Shove a cookie up your ass.

Third day: Shove a banana up your ass. After about ten minutes, when the tapeworm sticks his head out and says, "Where's my cookie!" whack him with a mallet. Then it's easy to yank him out.

Anonymous said...

... Elisson needs a sedative...... quickly..... good god!...