Cukes

I'm teaching biology this year, I'm sure I've mentioned. We're starting on cell reproduction, and sexual vs. asexual reproduction. The following conversation took place, with my {{thoughts}} added:

Me (to the class): So, what do you think might be the biggest difference between sexual and asexual reproduction?

Student 1 (male): One has sex, while the other doesn't.

Me: {{that didn't take long}}, well, yes, but on a more basic level, one needs sex cells, while the other doesn't. Asexual means that there is one parent making identical offspring by blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Me: Sexual Reproduction requires egg and sperm to be in the same place at the same time. Some animals mate, while others don't. Frogs and fish don't have sex.

Student 2 (female): What?! That's crazy!

Me: Most animals only have sex to reproduce. Only a few have sex for other reasons

Male #2: Dolphins!!

Me: Right. Chimpanzees trades sex for power and protection. We've seen that before {{waits for it}}

Female 2: My mother has this cucumber patch...

Me: {{Shit, not a story about cucumbers and sex, what have they heard about that, please don't go down that road, please, please please!!! And for Gott's Sake, DON"T START LAUGHING!!!}}

Female 2: yeah, we had to rub the male flowers on the female flowers to make cucumbers.

Me:
Class:

Me: {{ That wasn't what I expected... DONT LAUGH. Get the mental image of the cucumber porn out of your head!}}
Me: Right, that's one way to do it. Let's move on.