Get Over It

I saw a thing today, telling me to get over the things I can't change. Which is great advice. But, I wish it would have told me an example of what I could replace my frustration with. It could have said, try this new recipe for the best granola bars ever...or this one mobility WOD will finally fix that hip issue you have had for years. Or, eat this and you won't be hungry 3 hours later...
But, no.
No advice for getting over it.
I get that there is no magic pill.
Really.
I'm almost 50. I don't know what that is supposed to feel like. Old? Accomplished? Mature? Secure? Some people tell me I don't look my age, What does that even mean?
Get Over

You know what I miss about my children being small? Piggy toes. If I had a dime for every raspberry I have blown on the bottom of their piggy toes I would be a rich woman. How many times they squealed when I tickled them! Last night I was wondering how many pairs of shoes I have bought for my kiddos. My son usually had two pairs of shoes at any given time, so probably 50 pairs for him. The girls are an entirely different story. I bet we have more than 50 pairs of shoes in the house right now! It will be a sad day when I don't have to buy shoes for them anymore. Might have to do it anyways.

Dreams

Some dreams really suck. They prey on our worst fears. I realize that they are Nature's way of taking out the trash,but that doesn't help much when I am stuck in the nightmare.
I think parents have a special brand of nightmares. I worry about predators getting ahold of my daughters. It is my very worst fear. I would not be able to help them, and terrible things might happen. So I am hyper vigilant. My dreams tend to prey on those fears, no pun intended. I dreamed that I allowed my youngest to go to carnival/amusement park by herself. She was supposed to meet friends there that I had never met. Somehow I let her out of the car. Then, I got really scared and realized what I had done. I went to look for her at the entrance. There was an old man at the front gate writing down the last names of people he had let in. Our name was not there. I asked if anyone had seen her. They had not. I went back outside and turned the corner. There was a side alley with a fence at the end. It was about 50 feet long. There she stood,all alone, at the fence,near a gate. Looking vulnerable. I could not believe I had put my own child in that position. I started to yell her name, and I woke up.

9 years

It's been 9 years since my mother died. Strange. It's just been in the last few years that I have felt that loss. Physically, I mean. I miss drinking a beer with my mother. I miss her telling me to not believe everything I hear and only half of what I see. I miss how much my daughter loved her. I miss having someone who believed in me. I miss my mother. I miss the understanding that the book is ALWAYS better than the movie. I miss my mother. I am guilty of not loving her the what she deserved. I am guilty of being mad at her for not being perfect. I am guilty of being mad at her for giving up after my father died. Of not being strong.
I love my mother. And I miss her.

Sir Isaac Newton

Sir Isaac Newton invented/discovered Calculus so that he could explain how and why planets revolved around the sun the way they do. And then he turned 26.

That is cool, no matter who you are.

You will only fully appreciate this if you took Calculus in college.

that damn wall

That damn empty wall vexes me...

what shall I do?

wainscotting and paint?

A lemon tree with branches that hang memories of my life?

A Roman Memory, complete with wine and Goddesses?

A spring full of water and new life?

A modern world full of blue and white?

Acient water worlds with a grand Nautilus?

A Beach house with weathered shutters and white-washed walls?

My kitchen awaits...

If wishes were horses...

Jason Aldean would live in my house, singing to me all day long. Geoff Tate and Sara Evans would back him up. And Vice Versa, I suppose. Bryan Adams and Steve Perry would stop by for coffee every now and then...

My wine glass would never be empty

Hiccups would be abolished

I would have the most amazing garden on my back porch

Beer would not make you fat

Garlic and chocolate would POOF! out of thin air whenever you needed it

My house would grow a dance floor complete with sawdust

I would be able to play "Life By the Drop" by Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar

My car would fly

Time would slow the fuck down

Cars would get their own damn gas

A Few of My Favorite Things

1. Science: I mean, what's not to love about science, right? Science helps me see the beauty of the world. See how connected we all are, how much we depend on each other. When it seems the whole world has dissappointed me, science saves me.

2. Alcohol- I might like this more than I should. I love that buzz and relaxation. I seem to do my creating after two glasses of wine. I wonder if that is because I lose my fear of failure?

3. Head hugs- my oldest child is almost 23 and my youngest just turned 9. As toddlers, their arms would almost reach around my head to hug me. Tonight, my youngest gave me a head hug and it took me right back to when she was a toddler stumbling around the house.

4. Spoons with my husband (specially spoons with the hubs!) Hubbie and I seem to always be to-ing and fro-ing during the day. And some days we only see each other in the daylight for a moment or two, but I cannot tell you the JOY I feel when we snuggle up and drift away. Well, we don't always drift off to sleep, but that's none of your business.

http://youtu.be/VsyE2rCW71o

Didja know

The Atlantic Ocean grows about 25 mm a year...
The human fingernail grows about 36 mm a year,
Human hair grows about 144 mm a year

Grown

thought I had something to say, but realized I was being bitchy....so nevermind.
I got caught on fire today...in front of a bunch of little kids...it was fun..

Hey Hey, bad poetry for you

Life is busy, life is good.
Wish you all lived
in my neighborhood.

I've been thinking about a certain hammock on a ranch in Texas, wishing I was there....

I had a small point rolling around in my head, amongst the thoughts of Hugh Grant, drinking, science experiments, and generally not being "Good Enough". And now I can't remember.
But I logged in to this Forgotten Place because I had a Pithy Thought. Some sort of comparison between my life as it is and my life as I thought it would be. I can't remember now...
This is not an uncommon occurrence. I seem to forget so many things these days.
I surprise my self sometimes. I will remember a snippet of something from years past, long lost in to the day to day busy-ness of my life. I think, "That was an amazing thing to happen. You should share this, it's interesting., blog-worthy."
And then the Big Wheel of Time spins, leaving me behind. I forget what I should remember, feel like I am somehow just short of my goal. On the outside of the house, looking in the window at all those happy people...I feel just a bit past my prime...
I am blessed with all the good things in life, but can't help feeling like I don't deserve them.

I am so disappointed that I can't remember my  thought....I hope it comes back...

My Queen of Obvious

Gotta babble about my child for a minute...my youngest. I swear, she is my smartest and my strangest. The things she thinks up....So far today she has:
-painted with watercolors AND acrylics, because she like how they look together
-created a a wall of pillows and blankets on the bed and pretended to be a dog.
-let me paint her fingernails and toenails, using 10 different colors.
-pretended all those bottles of polish were people and took them on a bus ride
-used her homemade butterfly net to carry the polish and put them away.
- dressed up as a Super Star and sashayed around the house.
-Currently, her American Girl doll, Kit, has had an accident and she hit her head. Now they are going to the hospital.

What next?

Not Your Average Day at The Park

I was ten years old the first time I ever smoked pot. It was on The Needle at AstroWorld in Houston, Texas, around 1977. In the following 12 years, I smoked a lot more, plus a few other things.
I was never a big fan of amusement parks. I don't really like the rides, I really don't like heights and hate being flipped upside down. It's hot and crowded, and over-priced.
But, can you imagine how terrible it would be to see this bad boy on a trip to Six Flags?

http://www.lovethesepics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Clownicide-abandoned-Six-Flags-New-Orleans.jpg

Talk about a Creepy Clown! I bet if I had seen this guy that sultry summer night in 1977, I might have stayed on the Straight-N-Narrow!

You can see more here at http://www.lovethesepics.com/2011/05/creepy-crusty-crumbling-illegal-tour-of-abandoned-six-flags-new-orleans-75-pics/

Summer time means pools and candy

As a wee 8 year old, I lived in a little town in Texas, close to Houston. I went to a small elementary school there, I read a book a day. I would finish my work early and the teacher would let me go to the library. I remember really loving those books. Mostly I read biographies, but some fiction would find its way in from time to time.
But what I really loved that year was the public pool and Chick-O-Stick. My mother would drop my sister, brother, and myself early in the day. No sunscreen, though. Who bothered with that in the late 70s? We would get enough money to get in and a soda and a piece of candy. My cavity creator of choice was a Chick-O-Stick.
Behold:

What were those things made of? Reminiscent of Butterfingers sans chocolate, it had a stick-to-your-teeth yummy-ness that I loved.
I bet if I were to try one now, I would still love it, but dentist visits cost exponentially more as we age.

News of the World

Lots of good things happening here at HofUK.
Fer example:

I will not, I repeat NOT, be in college this summer, I get some time to work on the house and play with the children. Swimming, any one?

I have three events to work this summer for a total of 14 days. The money for this is so good, I am embarrassed to say it out loud, or type for that matter. Not so embarrassed that I can't take it, but I don't want to say it. (The fact that every penny of it will go to the tax man pisses me off to no end, but why ruin a perfectly good blog post?)

Next year I am teaching a class that will finally allow me to use my undergraduate degree from 16 years ago- it's about damn time.

And the best, very best news???? My son, The Marine, will be home for several weeks, maybe the whole summer, having decided not to re-enlist, but to go on to college. YAY!!! It's hard to believe that my 18 year old boy went away, but a 22 year old man will be coming back. He has grown a lot, learned alot, made some very good friends. He makes me proud to be his mother

Thankful

This Memorial Day, I would like to take a minute to recognize a few folks:
My husband's grandfather: he served during WWII and was in a Japanese POW camp.

My husband's father: a Marine in Viet Nam. He was the youngest Marine to ever make Sergeant (at the time, at least). He was one of those guys you see on war movies that hung out of the helicopters manning machine guns. This July we will mark the one year anniversary of his passing. Hard days ahead, folks.

My father: He served in the Air Force during Viet Nam, working as a mechanic. That man could fix ANYTHING!

My Brother in Law: Served during the Gulf War. Two medals for bravery. He jumped out of his tank to another burning tank to save a fellow soldier. He started the first Gulf War Veterans group here in Georgia, went on to the national level. He is still fighting for what he believes in.

My son: serving as a Marine in California with the Amphibious Assault Vehicle Unit (I might not have said that correctly). He begins a new journey this fall in  college, bringing all that experience with him.

My friend's son Mike H.: A Ranger who served in Iraq. He was killed when his vehicle ran over an IED. His mother's stories of her son inspired my son to join the Military.

My nephews: Randy and Mike. Randy served as a Marine in Iraq, he served as protection to the people who met with the Iraqis to plan for rebuilding. He tells me there were several times they had to fight their way home. He is married now, waiting for the arrival of his first child any day now. Mike  has served in the Air Force for 13 years so far. Still going strong. He is stateside right now, but has spent many years in other countries

 The world will always need warriors. I am proud to know these.

Is it too Much to ask?

For just one ounce of Give A Shit?

Not What I Thought I'd hear

So there is a lady I work with...I think(thought) a lot of her. She always had a big smile, always upbeat and positive. She seemed like a good mother. She had a special needs son whom she worshipped, and a little girl who was just too cute for words. The students flocked to her for advice and friendship.

I work with teenagers. Some would say that 17 year olds are adults. Some may be, but most only think they are. Regardless, it is a crime to take advantage of them.

It turns out that this lady was (allegedly) have an affair with several of the students at my school. She's my age, which means she is old enough to be the parent of our oldest kids. Blech, blech, double blech.
She should be ashamed of herself!

And to think I used to be jealous of her.